PM360 Greatest Creators June 2011

The 36 Deadly Habits of Dysfunctional Creative Programs

PM360 asked a large cross-section of PM360’s readers to take a trip on the dark side, and send two sentences describing behavior that chokes off creativity and gives ulcers to folks on both side of the client-agency relationship. Here are the decaying fruits of that effort.

By the Readers of PM360

We wanted Seven Deadly Habits of Dysfunctional Creative Programs, but we overshot the mark. Dozens of deliciously self-destructive behaviors flowed in. As you review them, bear in mind the four phases of a healthy creative process (highlighted by Don Martiny of MicroMass): inspiration and information-gathering; invention and innovation; constructive criticism and editing; and productivity.

So, thanks to our many correspondents, including: Nancy Beesley, HCB Health; Wendy Black- burn, Intouch Solutions; Rob Likoff, Group DCA; Abby Mansfield, Topin; Don Martiny, MicroMass Communications; Bob Girondi, CMI; RJ Lewis, e-Healthcare Solutions; Bob Lojewski, Pfizer; Frank X. Powers, Dudnyk; Dave Raube, GA Communication Group; Jim Sluck, Alcon; Dave Sonderman, GSW Worldwide; Brendan Ward, RCW Group; the folks at Centron and Core-Create; and a host of independent contributors who wish to remain anonymous. Where possible, we have included the originators’ initials after the items they inspired. But please remember: the final product has been edited to reduce word counts and increase snarkiness. In other words, the credit is theirs; the discredit is ours.

Carefully follow our instructions below, and you’ll derail every single one of them.

When in Doubt, Stifle
A straitjacket is a fashion statement. Be rigidly conservative, avoid anything unfamiliar, and stick to “me-too” execution that will easily pass medical-legal-regulatory review. Use phrases like, “It has to...,” “It can never...,” and “I’m scared of...” (RL, C)

Expect creativity on command. Who cares that some people get ulcers whenever corporate sends down memos ordering minions to “Be Innovative”? Ending a meeting or two 10 minutes early gives them plenty of time to innovate. (Anon)

Be paralyzed by fear of regulatory rejection. Make sure that first person panics, and then have everybody self-censor everything to death. (C-C)

Assume that “creative” is the monopoly of a single department. No-one else has any ideas worth thinking about. (DR)

Discourage play and playful thinking. Quash half-formed ideas immediately to make sure they never grow into anything troublesome. (DM)

Put off all difficult decisions. Be sure that the brand team, after seeing several stellar concepts that perform exceptionally well, says, “Nothing really stands out, so let’s go back to the drawing board.” (Anon)
Never refine a campaign.

Always cling to an old concept long after its time has passed. (BL) Treat every product as though it’s
the universal cancer cure. Be sure to react to any even-faintly-whimsical ad with something like, “I think this ad trivializes toenail fungus.” (Anon)

Rely solely on traditional print as a measure of an effective idea. Do not consider tradeshows, personal selling, gaming, digital selling, un- branded, broadcast, social, environmental, or mobile channels. (DS)

Go native. Immediately apply your “client” filters, and never assert your own point of view. (DS)

Stifle your staff physically, as well as mentally. Avoid giving them natural light and fresh air, and be sure to surround them with the drone of co-workers’ telephone conversations. (Anon)

Know Nothing
Limit your research: At most, talk to one healthcare provider, one senior executive, or one cab driver. Under no circumstances should you generate wide-ranging quantitative data based on measurable criteria. “My doctor says blue backgrounds make him sad: no more turquoise or teal.” (FXP, JS, Anon)

Mistake information for insight. Rely on the mass of data, and don’t worry about what (undone) reflection and analysis might tell you about your customer or brand. (AM)

Trust your instincts...all of your instincts, and only your instincts. Ignore well-conducted research when it doesn’t support your prejudices. (JS)

Don’t define any key performance indicators. We know what we’re doing; we don’t need artificial goals to keep us focused. (BG)

Avoid both pre-testing (to gauge whether creative approaches will work) and post-testing (to measure campaign impact). They’re expensive and just slow you down. (BG)

Keep media partners in the dark. Be sure to evaluate online publishers on “back-end” metrics—pageviews, time on site, number of downloads, video views, etc.—but under no circumstances share your numbers with them. Driving blindfolded exhilarates them. (RJL)

Play Tennis without a Net
Never define your objectives. That way, management can never criticize you for failing to meet them. It also leaves the creative team free to reinvent the wheel...and fire, the steam-engine, and nuclear power: With luck, unfettered creativity itself can halt a project in its tracks or even send it reeling backwards (DM, DR, RL, JS, Anon)

Lose focus. If you should inadvertently produce goals and messages, forget them. Stop trying to figure out how to say it, and concentrate on reinventing what to say...over, and over, and over. (AM)

Be everything to everyone. Core messages are for amateurs. (BL)

Dump absolutely everything into your position statement…and be as general as possible. Use this as a model: “Panazyme [or Gorillamycin or Dositall] is safe, efficacious, and delivers power, specificity, convenience, tolerability and cost.” (Anon)

Ooh, Shiny!
“Keep It Simple, Stupid,” is for sissies. (Anon)

Always create “The Ad That Does It All.” So what if the faint of heart claim that the best ads say one thing and one thing only. Never resist the temptation to pack in a little more. (NB)

Practice “Frankenconcepting.” Pick elements from disparate creative concepts and mash them together. (WB)

Jump right on competitors’ band-wagons with “me too” concepts and tactics. (Anonymous)

Rush to embrace Twitter, Face- book, and every new media tool. Do not stop to consider who’s account- able or what is suitable for the task at hand. (BG)

Frequently change campaigns for the sake of change. (BL)

Encourage the creative team to commit “art,” unconnected to the positioning brief, market insight, or, indeed, the need to sell a product.

D’Oh! A Dysfunction Phrasebook
Use the following phrases as often as possible:

“I’ll know it when I see it.” (DR, BW)

“Could you possibly make the logo bigger, and also, please fit in a smiling patient?!” (Anon)

“Just show me where you are.” (DR)

“Think outside the box.” (BW)

“We want something clinical.” (BW)

“It’s not there yet,” (but under no circumstances give details on where “there” is.) (BW)

“Dial up [anything].” (BW)

“I don’t like it.” (See above.)